- "Ah, precious blood!"
- ―Count Burns
Counts Burns is the minor villain played by Mr. Burns and vampire who resides in his medieval castle in Transylvania.
The media becomes frenzied when they discover a local vampire (Mr. Burns) has attacked and killed a person in Springfield. Mr. Burns then invites his employee, Homer Simpson and his family for a midnight dinner in Pennsylvania. Lisa and Bart become suspicious of Mr. Burns and discover his secret lair where they find out his dark secret. Mr. Burns bites Bart, turning him into an un-holy creature of the night. After the Simpson family find out what has happened, they return to Pennsylvania with plans to kill Mr. Burns. Homer hammers a stake into Mr Burns' heart, killing him and gets fired. However, once the Simpsons return home, Lisa discovers the truth - Marge is actually the head vampire, not Mr. Burns.
Count Burns' appearance is based on that of Gary Oldman's portrayal of Count Dracula in the 1992 horror-romance film, Bram Stoker's Count Dracula, which was directed by Francis Ford Coppola.